POEM: too soon

I miss your suckling lips
that sweet face, staring into mine
the ease with which we came together
and even when we parted
and moved on about our day
I knew there was a next time
and another
so many more days and nights were to follow
until you chose some day to let go
of mother’s milk
on your own terms

a bond stronger than iron
gentle as rain

but now it is gone
that bond broken by my own hand
those days are to be no more
soon they will dry up
arid, empty, floating in memory
like a dead leaf upon the wind
a loss so deep I feel it in my skin
as much as in my heart

My breasts ache for you
and my only consolation
is that while you have not yet forgotten
you seem satisfied now
with my arms
my long hair
my singing voice
my immense love alone
will be enough for you

Oh my dearest child
it is by losing my breast
that you will have all of me still
and by forgetting mother’s milk
you will have your mother’s life
a cruel twist of fate
but with at least some mercy
for both of us, I hope